| *::How stressful::* |
[Apr. 7th, 2004|09:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nirvana-Downer | ] |
Wow, i forget to update a lot. lol but its better to wait a few days and then update on what has happened in those few days.. i dunno. lol I dunno.. I cant say A LOT! has happened..but some stuff has happened. Spring Break started..What fun lol..Except ive had to work most of it. lol but i cant complain im getting hours. :) which i horribly need. I got my first paycheck and it sucked.. lol it was 100.62 blaaah lol how gay. oh well. But the day before yesterday i hung out with AJ. It was nice..i havent seen him since before the break-up. It felt like the first time we ever hung out again..it was weird. but it brought back a lot.. i dunno we had fun tho..and we even went back to the creek and skipped rocks like a little kid and i got mud all over my shoes lol but oh well..it was awesome..cos i forgot how to skip rocks to he had to teach me. lol Then yesterday..Oh god. What a horrific day until i got off work..But work was a fuckin Drag. Buck is sucha grumpy old man. He yelled at me emily and bev because he fucked up and wouldnt admit it. he wrote the wrong cars on the wrong slips and so emily didnt know what car for me to send it to ..Bev told me to take it to this one car..So i did..he looked at it and took the food..and then he brings it back in..and bitches. so because i took the wrong food to someone cos i was told to..it fucked up like 2 other orders..So buck went CRAZY! i dont know why?? it really wasnt that big of a deal. But me n emily were stuck at drive-thru all night cos we had to..well atleast until we were scheduled to get off lol at 5 we were like OH THANK GOD! and then they were like nope you cant leave and we're like shit..we gotta wait til next shift changes out the cash register and makes sure everything is stocked..so i jus helped people make their products. lol it sucked asss man lol but i told em i think buck's bi-polar and everyone was like ya know i think i agree lol and i was like one day when i dont care about being fired im gunna come in and hand him a card that specializes in people who are bi-polar and give it to him like i think you need this. I mean seriously..hes almost as bad as my mom. lol I guess He really went off on bev one day..lol She told me one day he came in and couldnt find anything to bitch about soo he came over and looked at the flyers that we put in with the food and stuff and because it was in the wrong fuckin container he flipped out on her! lol i was like omg. Not to mention he said none of us listen to a god damn word in that place. I just rolled my eyes like yeah whatever im not gunna argue ..you sign my checks. lol But emily lol i love that girl..shes been workin there for a long time but she smarted off to him and he was like I NEED BLAH BLAH BLAH and she threw it across the counter at him lol and i was like oh shit. and then she was like i need a cigarette. so finally as buck was leavin bev was like as soon as he leaves you can take a few to have a cig and calm down lol and i just burped really loud and i was like EXCUSE ME lol everything was better after buck left. Except fuckin i hate people who come through the Drive-Thru and im fairly new at shit..and they want to ADD MORE TO THEIR ORDER..AFTER I COLLECT THEIR DAMN MONEY AND GIVE THEIR CHANGE BACK. FUckin assholes. And we jus got really busy and ill be happy if i never make a cheesequake (Strawberry/oreo/toffee or Cherry Cheesecake blizzard) EVER AGAIN! lol but then brian picked me up from work and it was all good..drove around for awhile..went to pine quarry when on a smoke drive.. lol ya know. we were orginally with Stoner and Rosie then rosie had to leave so we went n picked terrence and angie up..and drove around gave her her eighth then dropped her off then it was jus me brian,T and stoner lol good times good times. lol I bought a B off Brian. so we matched some lol it was nice. i dunno lol but then we jus drove n drove then dropped T and Stoner off at stoners car..and then we chilled and then went n got stefan then they dropped me off at home. boooo. lol i didnt wanna go home. oh well..and today brian is supposed to call as soon as he wakes up..and i dont know whats goin on today im supposed to go party and get drunk off my ass at some guys house that im friends with but i dunno.. hmmm what to do. im gunna figure that out. but in the mean time..if anyone wants to do anything..let me know! PEaCE!@ xoxo |
|
|
| haha man these things are too fun lol |
[Apr. 1st, 2004|09:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | HmmMm | ] |
.+.And theres plenty more of where that came from lmao..i cant stop doin these things..they are too fun :) lol im sucha dork..someone give me a live.. i need one.+. |
|
|
| *::Gosh::* |
[Mar. 31st, 2004|12:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hoobastank-The Reason | ] |
Blah.. Hmm these few days that i havent updated have been confusing i guess you could say? I read a book in 1 day and now im started on the second one and im almost done..they are say..Its A Child Called "It" and The Lost Boy. Its so sad to see and read other kids who have been psyically abused..The books made me several times. Uhm, i found out My mom told brittany's mom *when i got into trouble awhile ago with that stupid party and shit* that i have a problem and tendency to make up things and fantasies about things that have happened to me here within these walls..which i thought was bullshit..ive never lied about that shit. It pissed me off because she cannot admit to beatin the living shit outta me..and almost choking me to death. She's sick..but she wont get help..i have sucha huge fear of ending up like her..it scares me so much..but i keep telling myself i wont..i refuse to. but its easier said than done. i dunno..so thats been on my mind a lot..It really bothers me that my mother will go as far as making me look like the bad guy when she honestly has the problem..:( but On monday me n brian celebrated our 4 months together..it seems liek soo much longer..but it was a really sweet day for us. We just sat here and watched gothica and it was nice. We've been going to pine quarry together a lot. its really nice being there with him...its more peaceful then it was before. and i hung out with him yesterday and we were outside and got caught out in the rain and it was jus a beautiful moment to be caught in the rain with someone you love..and to kiss em and *sigh* it was nice. Then on Sunday night i called Aaron..cos we havent talked on the phone since before we broke up..and it was a great conversation. I never realized how much i missed talkin to him til that night. lol he's havin troubles with his gf and what not..and she even went as far as to bitchin at me like that was gunna fix her problems?? i dunno..but im just trying to be there for him and stuff..because hes always there for me..and im the only person that can give him the reassurance i have and im the only person that treats him the way i do..and well its special. We've always been good friends since we met..and im jus so glad we are still friends..and even closer than before. but now i have an even bigger problem..My friend is 8 weeks pregnant..and the dad is actin up and the poor girl..shes so confused on what to do. but i will be there for her as much as i can. I never want my friends to go thru any of this bullshit. Granted they got pregnant but they didnt ask for it..and they surely didnt ask for the guy to go completely irresponsible on them. So im jus goin over things in my head..trying to put myself in that position and i hope i never end up in her shoes. I feel bad..shes gunna get kicked out..but its okay..i have some people who might let her stay with them until she gets on her feet. i want all my friends to know they never have to hesitate to come to me..i will always be there for each n every one of my friends. I will never let them down. I dunno ive just been doin a lot of thinking lately about everything and its really making me a better person..and this change is needed..and if people dont like it then you can find another friend elsewhere. but as for me today..i stayed home sick. i needed a day off.. my stomach is really hurtin and feels like me insides are coiled and in knots. Maybe its all this stress and thinking but oh well..itll be over soon enough. but i work saturday 11-5 again and sunday 1-7. This job is fun..except on super busy days.. lol im jus liek wow..uhm i get confused..bob told me to make a medium hot fudge sunday with chocolate D.Q and somehow i thought he said make a medium shake with chocolate D.Q so im sittin here tryin to mix this shake and its not feelin right and im jus like you cant use chocolate D.Q to make a shake.. and i was gettin all confused lol and he came up to me laughin like what are you tryin to make..and i was like ahhh lol you told me to make this and he was like no no hun i told you to make this lol and i was like omg..and he was like i think you need a break lol i was like me too.. i felt so dumb :( lol but im doin great so far. :) spring break next week..woohoo means more hours. but yeah im gunna get outta here! mucho amor! |
|
|
| *::Weeeeeeeeee::* |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The sweet sound of the dell P.C lol | ] |
Weee, i havent updated. tomorrow is my last day of grounding! woohoo! im stoked. lol not much has happened..ive jus been miserable and then happy then miserable.. ya know how it goes. i just cant wait to see brian. :) i miss him! lol we were on the phone yesterday for like 2 hours. lol but there was reason behind it. i was cryin hah but oh well. Im watchin Freddy Vs Jason right now..interesting movie lol not scary at all..just funny. i dunno.. lol im sad too! john is movin to cali with Kyle! lol but its cool lol. ill meet her sometime..and ive always wondered what cali was like anyways..so if i can..i wanna take a trip there after he moves there with her. lol Baaaah work tomorrow..and school. lol oh well..i cant complain atleast im getting paid for working :) lol but im going to go watch this movie and call brian. byebye xoox Mucho Amor! :) |
|
|
| *::dot..dot..dot::* |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|09:59 am] |
well im here in 7th period at school supposed to be working on a project. well im not exactly doin that lol. I have a pretty bad migrane so really i just want to go home. but i cant lol. Next period should be interesting since i have brittany in my class hummmm i wonder lol. but yeah so someone who remained nameless decided to say i whine and brag too much in my LJ. wtf is a LJ for? To talk about your day and shit and uhm if something bad goes on in my day wtf am i supposed to do...talk about it. i swear man fuckin idiots. and uhm bragging would be like "hey my tits are huge and everyone wants them" lol but uhhh i dont do anything close to that. i think this person is jus unhappy that they have no life and have to comment on peoples live journals and remain nameless..i mean common atleast if your gunna say something..state your name. dont be a pussy. but yeah ANYWAYS onto important things lol i get ungrounded on saturday! woohoo i am countin down the days! haha only thing that sux is uhm i work friday 5:30-7 Saturday 11-5 sunday 3-7. so lol of course the weekend i get ungrounded i work. but its kewl. i still have time after i get off. lol so yeah if anyone wants to chill or hang out let me know! but im going to get outta here so jeff can have this lap top and im going to rest my head!
P/S JOHN MASS LOL WE GOTTA DO THAT MORE OFTEN! IT WAS FUN! I LOVE YOU MORE! BYE! |
|
|
| *::First day of work::* |
[Mar. 20th, 2004|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mellow music | ] |
so i had my first day of work today..and it was all good. i enjoyed it. but i can honestly say i dont like how my legs and feet hurt afterwards lol. im sucha baby.but ill get used to it. i never knew working with Ice cream could be so hard..and the thing that seems easiest..is the hardest..making a fuckin ice cream cone is hard as hell!! its like an art!! i dunno man lol but i work tomorrow 4-7 and i dunno i really like the people i work with! their all soo funny and bob is pretty cool so far..im intimidated by Buck tho lol hes a scary guy..but he is the one signin my paychecks sooo lol I saw so many people today that i know lol it was crazy. they made me sweep floors at one point tho cos the kid who normally does it..called of sick today and it was like his second day..i was like how stupid. lol they all know he's faking. but then my daddy picked me up and i went and got some taco bell..lol now..i normally hate it but i was craving it haha then i went with my mom shopping and then i came home and watched two movies and now im pooped. i have to go shoppin with my mom tomorrow and then go to work..so i should prollie go to bed lol i just thought id update and tell ya'll bout my first day at work lol |
|
|
| *::interesting::* |
[Mar. 18th, 2004|10:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nerdy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sublime-Same in the end | ] |
well lol since ive last updated..some interesting things have happened. lol Me n adam are talking more. which im so very happy about..We're actually forming a friendship how neat! lol i cant wait til im ungrounded tho cos we're gunna hang out sometime with jamie er something and maybe go grab some chipotle..but also in this whole time of re-kindling friendships..me n John Mass have started talking again and boy lemme tell you how much i miss that kid! (even tho hes older lol)i dunno. You never realize how much you really miss old friends until you start talking again! i dont know. ive also realized a few of my older friends are my true friends and a few of my newer ones..arent much of friends at all. funny how that works..so hopefully now that i know who the true friends are..we can start chillin again and things will be cool. As for the drama..itll never end but i can limit how much is in my life..and by that..i mean if people bring it my way. im going to tell them..either quit..or goodbye. lol as sad as that is..it has to be that way..im young..i wanna have fun while i can..and if people are too wrapped up in drama..how can you have fun..your just going to be stressed. and i think drama is stupid..and im allowed to say that because ive been thru a shit load of it. the world is addicted to it..and its stupid. and goin thru what i have..thats what made me realize this. but thats my two cents on that..and that was rambling lol. im pretty bored.. but im gunnA Go Do SOmething with my time lol.. and ill leave you with a quote that everyone and their fuckin mom has..but its a good one..
.+.Vengeance brought about by hate...and
fear. When it points its head in our
direction, we take notice and
everything changes. The way we choose
our friends, the way we protect our
families, the way we create enemies
out of strangers.
Welcome to America.+.
- American History X |
|
|
| *::DAMN::* |
[Mar. 15th, 2004|07:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Starting Line | ] |
well shit.. caught again. I got caught for goin to a party..stayin the night with my boyfriend.. uhm drinkin..stayin at the party til 5:00 .. lol uhhh yeah..soooo im grounded for 2 weeks. soo ill try n update as much as possible :) soo yeah.. hahah damn when am i going to learn.. But Brittany and Missi are now outta my life because if it werent for them..i woulda never got caught..cos they called my house at like 5..Cos i left brittanys when we got home and had my bf come get me. cos she was up in my face yellin at me and shit when i was tryin to fuckin tell her how digusted i was cos fuckin kindra and her bf were fuckin in the backseat before we got in the car and fuckin i sat in someones CUM! i wanted to barf and she was like in my face and i was like im not putting up with this anymore.you dont respect me so basically fuck you. and yeah..so then she decided to do anything she can to make my life hell..and uhm she called my parents..but they didnt get the message til morning.. and so then someone keeps callin dustins cell phone from my house so he wakes me up and is like you need to call ur house..and i get home..and blah blah mom says im grounded for 1 month..no goin ne where..no computer and no phone. well then she says they wanna talk to brian. so brian comes over.they talk..everythings cool..she lowers it to 2 weeks..cos she see's i really didnt do anything wrong..i had a right to leave. uhm then me brian and my parents and bro went out to dinner at texas roadhouse. and then uhm next morning i get a call from brian and he's about in tears like i heard you made out with a guy at the party i was like omg! we were playin spin the bottle and i kissed..not made out with. and he was still upset but not as upset but we worked it out..and yeah..we're good. I work Tues& Wed 5:30-7 and Sat 12-5 and Sun4-7 sooo one of those days hes going to come see me up at D.Q. blaah soo basically yeah and missi told brian that i said the whole day i was gunna break up with brian..but i said if we continue fighting non-stop im going to have to break up with him. but he already knew that..but yeah their trying to fuck me over like maad crazy. but im not worried because dustin and brian are the only people im worried about and i know their on my side..soo they wont believe shit brittany and missi say because brittany and missi are lyin ass bitches. So in school..yeah i gotta be civil..but outside of school fuck them. but i gotta get ready for school. ill update ASAP! lol im interested to see what j-me is gunna say to this..i know she'll be pissed at brittany and missi hahahha *even tho she dont know missi* but yeah man aint this sum fucked up shit.. i dont know who my friends are anymore..HuMMm..well.. im outta here. peace! |
|
|
| *::YaaaaaaY::* |
[Mar. 10th, 2004|10:46 pm] |
You are SALUTE YOUR SHORTS. You are a wangsta who
knows business. You have fun in the sun and
know how to have a good laugh.
Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
.+.wOOHOO MY FAVoRiTE oLd nIcKElODEoN sHOW TOO! ANd iM iT! hOw coOl! LOL eVEryTiMe SOMeOne TAlKs ABouT OlD shoWs..Which OnE dO I MentIon First..SALUTE YOUR SHORTS! HELL YEAH BABY..I MISS THAT FUCKIN SHOW!!!.+. |
|
|
| *::ha::* |
[Mar. 10th, 2004|10:42 pm] |
Brand New is writing your life story! clever and
insightful, but missing something...like love.
don't worry, you'll get over him or her
eventually.
Which Band Is Writing Your Life's Story?
brought to you by Quizilla
.+.and its so true..its almost scary.+. |
|
|
| *::Yawn::* |
[Mar. 8th, 2004|03:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | .+.Trapt-Echo.+. | ] |
Blah, today has been boring. and im very tired. lol Im in a pretty decent mood though and i looked pretty today..or so people said. lol So it all works out. Im waiting for Bob *my manager* to call back and tell me when i work this week..blaah~ im so bored. lol Mondays are so boring. I dont know.. Lately ive been thinking about friends..and it seems the ones you always seem to lose contact with are the true friends and the ones you keep around are the bad friends. I dont know..I was so happy i rekindled my friendship with Adam and so many other people..but now i barely talk with them..kinda makes me wonder.. I dont know. I get ditched so much for other people or for stupid things..like to go get drunk or smoke pot er something.. It jus pisses me off. True friends dont ditch friends. i mean Everyone ditches someone at some point..but they feel guilty and dont do it again but some people jus do it on a daily basis and dont feel bad at all..its ridiculous. So lol any true friends..who are reading this!! lemme know whats up! lol I miss so many people..i miss jamie a lot. me n lincoln were talking about her today and i dunno man..i jus miss her so much. she was my bestest friend in the whole world. we faught a lot but we got over it. how many friends can really say that.. lol i dont know. JAMIE I MISS YOU!! LOL i miss everyone in worthington too but until i get my license it wont be easy to see them :( blah. lol booored! I have a lot to think about..but i like to think when im doing stuff..i cant just sit there and do nothing and think..it bores me. and puts me to sleep. lol but im gunna go do something productive with my time.. pEaCe! |
|
|
| *::Oh Dear God::* |
[Mar. 7th, 2004|02:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ..Anything.. | ] |
oh holy crap. i had a rough night last night. i stayed the night with brian..But like when i showed up..i had no idea that like 598749 million people were gunna be there.. i guess they were partyin and i surprised him by showin up like hey!! lol and he was soooo happy..you just dont even know. it was great.. but man i was tore up last night! lol i dont remember so much stuff lol I took like 4 shots of crown royal and did some other stuff with dustin and stefan. lol wow..i ended up like crawling into brians bed and we fell asleep for like 2 hours and i woke up and i stood up liek whoaaa and i looked down..and i couldnt remember how i got shorts on.. i walked out there and everyones still there and they are all chillin like look who finally decided to wake up lol and then we all went to steak and shake at like 2:30am .. that was crazy lol. we got back..and everyone passed out but me and brian couldnt sleep.and this morning walked out and me n brian saw this chick who likes stefan..and shes layin with him..and she tried actin liek she was asleep when we walked out..but we walked back into the room..and she starts talkin again..but i guess she really lieks him and she'll like try and do stuff and he'll jus be like get off me bitch lol or like he'll let her give him head or something and then be like okay go away bitch! and she jus keeps comin back for more..its crazy..but its so funny how stefan treats her! lol yet sad. But i dunno if i like her or not..cos she was askin brian about me like what happened to your girlfriend? and brian was like what? and she just shut up all quick..like nothing. and like a few minutes later i walked in the door. lol but yeah we only got like 30 mins of sleep and we both woke up with stomach aches and headaches..like damn hangover hell. It sucks. My stomach still hurts lol..but dude brian like farted 10 times in a row and all i could do was laugh..lol most chicks would be disgusted but i just found it completely hilarious. i know im gross. but hey atleast they didnt smell er anything! lol and then we found some stuff in dustins cabinets..Its called contraceptive oil.. lol i thought it was tampons at first so i was like ok cool..and i opened one and i was like wtf is this! lol and i asked dustin about it this morning..and i guess its jus like a condom..only without the condom..lol i was like oh really..i would never use that shit lol..fuck that. but man o man.. i wonder if work called me today..lol but im gunna go take a shower and try to feel better! so i hope everyone else had a good night.. lol |
|
|
| *::WoW::* |
[Feb. 28th, 2004|09:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Slipknot-Iowa | ] |
wow its been awhile..for awhile i had no access to the internet cos all the comps here were fucked up..mine still is..so im using my brothers. uhm Well not shit has happened since last time except i went out to dinner last night with brian,his mom,his step dad, and his grandparents..it was very nice :) lol i love his family..and today i had an interview at Dairy Queen..and i got the job. go me. lol i was happy..yet somehow i know i jus might end up regreting it..but oh well its money right? lol soo i dunno..then after that i hung out with brian..and like an hour before i had to be home..we started drinkin..lol i dunno we got this stuff i forget what its called..but its a reallly strong beer its like 7. something % alcohol. lol i dunno..i chugged most of his first one..and then i went and got some chocolate milk and he yelled at me and told me not to drink it cos id prollie throw up.but i was like screw it..chocolate milk sounds yummie right now..lol but i didnt feel this stuff until like now..and now im feelin the mixture of the two..so i feel tipsy yet sick. lol not a good feeling exactly.. but im still good and able to type. lol i duno. but im about to get off this thing and talk to some people..peace |
|
|
| *::Sigh::* |
[Feb. 19th, 2004|06:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mushroomhead- Nowhere to go | ] |
SO Yeah Life the past few days has been shit. Im fuckin fed up with life right now. I really hope i dont fall back into my old ways..life will be hell. im worried about myself. I dont know if anyone else see's it but ya know.. i do. Things are bothering me and pissin me off that normally wouldnt.. my moms bein fuckin homo..she grounded me cos she said i didnt call..when i have two witnesses that i fuckin did, but the dumb bitch said she didnt get it. shes a freakin control freak and thinks she can control everything. its so dumb and fuckin i find out my supposed best friend called me after i left her one night and left a message cos she was pissed at me and said i left mary j and fuckin shit like that all over her room for her mom to find. i was like what?? lol too bad i had nothin to leave around. but my dad deleted it before my mom could hear it..and my dad believes me. some people are jus fucked up in the head man. and ill tell ya..reynoldsburg is full of fuckin crazy people with attitude problems. i cant fuckin wait til im 18. im taking me and brian and whoever else doesnt piss me off.and we're movin away from here. Brian already told me when im 18 i will have a place to come to soo its whatever. but i dunno..just everything lately is blah and i hate it. i really fuckin hate it. what do you do when you dont know who you can trust anymore? Friends no long are friends..friend betray you. friends nark on you. uhm they just turn fuckin psycho..what do you do when ur bf is the only guy there for you!? i mean wtf dude..and my friends complain my relationship is my life now..well thats because their so self centered on their lives..to even care about mine to call me n see what im doin..or how im doin..or ANYTHING! but guess who does..my baby! He's been there for me so dont even think for one second i would turn my back on him. And ontop of that, heres something funny..Andrea Puderbaugh is a dumb cunt. If i get the chance ill tell her that myself..although im sure someone already did but ill repeat it to her. but still shes talkin shit callin me a slut and sayin i think im the shit and that i hang all over brian's nuts..OKAY let me remind you..brian is my boyfriend! its not like we're not going out er anything! jesus christ what a dumb cunt. And i was jus like man whatever..shes more of a slut than i am..and i dont think im the shit..im not the one walkin around talkin shit behind peoples back and wont even say it to their face..Shes fuckin dumb. Ill tell all this to her face..but i need to vent this. I dunno.. No one likes her..and she was at the career center..didnt like it. she had no friends there! she came back to the highschool and what a coincidence...NO ONE LIKES HER HERE EITHER! no one can stand her and i find that funny! haha anyways.. this song below..by mushroomhead kinda reminds me of how i feel. but yea sorry so long and i hope you enjoy reading! byebye xoox
Morning's gone
Echoes of dawn
Shaking my soul
All but done
Delirium
The rain with the cold
With nowhere to go
(Love destroyed this body figureheads and lies
Have i survived)
Nowhere to go
(we've been brought here for a reason
Be it fate, or internal treason
Souls will be saved,
Or mutiny's waged,
As we plead for something to believe in)
Bringing doubt
Full of without
Of something to hold
I errode
Faith like alone
Shrink inside as i depart the throne
(Love destroyed this body figureheads and lies
Have i survived)
With nowhere to go
(Love destroyed this body figureheads and lies
Have i survived)
One by one til we are all alone
(have i survived)
Nowhere to go
(Love destroyed this body figureheads and lies
Have i survived)
Breath cant i
Can feel the knife
Widen on this grip
Confession of a fallen king
Ill do almost anything
Not to be alive today)
If i could end this way of greed
Its came through a scream
And feel like i have won some way
Wade thru this dark decay
Welcome an early grave
And put my heart away
To start another game
Its getting old
With nowhere to go
(hollow hate
To not to breath
Sink inside
To my displease
Pain inside
Decides my fate
Delerium in this painted face)
All alone
More than you'll know
One by one til we are all alone
(Love destroyed this body figureheads and lies
Have i survived)
With nowhere to go
(Love destroyed this body figureheads and lies
Have i survived)
Shrink inside as i depart the throne
(have i survived?)
Nowhere to go
(Love destroyed this body
Have i survived)
One by one til we are all alone
With nowhere to go
Theres nothing left to prove
What do we have to prove?
Theres nothing left to lose(good bye)
No where to go(goodbye) |
|
|
| *::I LoVe You::* |
[Feb. 16th, 2004|09:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Trapt-Echo | ] |
Well, lol what to say what to say..Every day of my life is the same.. i wake up. i either go to school..or if its a weekend..i call my boyfriend. then i either go to school..or i go see him. Then if i went to school..i go see him. Then i go home and sleep, its a day to day thing. MaRy Jane keeps the party alive. but on other news..Brittany is pissed at me..and i dont really care. i mean i do..but i dont. I left her at like 12:30-40 am to be with my boyfriend on v-day..well if u want technical then the day after. but I left him for her.. and me n brit were supposed to stay the night at gabby's. *my bf and gabby dont get along anymore* and well..Brit left to go on a beer run that took forever and ages.. and so i called brian on the cell and he was like baby you should be with me..its v-day and i was like i know but we're all chillin here..gunna drink some then drive home to gabby's and right away he was like no if gabbys gunna be drunk i dont want her drivin you. i was like.. uhh.. well uhh..and he was like im gunna come pick you up..Gabby called at him and bitched at him..then gabby told brittany and brittany had gabby hand me the phone and she bitched at me..and i was like so okay whatever. And then just as me brian larry and andrew are about to pull away.. brittany rob kindra and someone pulled up..and andrew n brittany had been fighting..and he was like hold up.im going to see if she wants to come to. well she gets in a fight with him. and i jump out n i was like dude gabby's pickin me up on the way back home so everyone wins. and she was like FUCK YOU! And she told me i better call my parents n tell them i wasnt stayin with her..cos she wasnt gunna cover for me..and that if i didnt call..she'd call. and i was like oh well hmm. So i called n said i was stayin with someone else. i left them a message since they were sleepin. and brian took me away.. i spent the night with him. went home..no one was home..so i walked all the way back there. and came home last night..then woke up.brian called..and then i went over there..spent the day with him and came home. ate some pepper steak and some banana cream pie and im good to go. lol i dunno..its been a stressful yet peaceful weekend. my valentines day was great..my baby made it a good one for me. as for brittany..its whatever.. i wont take the way she treats me. and shes a hypocrit. how many times has she left me for missi.or left anyone for someone. she does it all the time. but i mean if she wants to be shady to me..i can be shady right back. but that would make me as immature is she is. i wanted to beat her ass so bad that night. but brian was like baby jus calm down..andrew got in the car all pissed off and yellin and shit and we drove off. hmm seems to be causin sum headaches lately. but its whatever. my bf has been the only person there for me lately so why should i give anyone more time than him. or more or less any. brittany was never around anymore. but he was when i needed him. so she can jus either realize that..or jus deal with the situation. but im done for now. sorry its so freakin long. |
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| *::dfhgjshgf::* |
[Feb. 13th, 2004|04:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eamon-Fuck It | ] |
Which Family Guy character are you?
*Well uhm..I havent updated in a few days because i have nothing new to say. I got pot for valentines day. whoop whoop lol. but i left it with my boyfriend. It was in the shape of a heart too lol how sweet. we smoked some last night in a cinnamon blunt wrap lol mmm we didnt smoke it all tho..but i know he had to of finished it cos he told stephen he'd smoke a bowl er something with him if he took me home lol. But yeah.. uhm.. in other news..uhm..well geez..i have no other news. nothin has really happened thats been so great to share about. Im so freakin bored..i hope someone gets ahold of me tonight and wants to do something lol but yeah im outta here! |
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|
| *::GeeZy PeteS::* |
[Feb. 10th, 2004|10:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Linkin Park-Numb | ] |
humm.. my day..it was an on and off day. School was straight..i got a lot of compliments on my hair and what have you. but i dunno.. towards the end of the school day i started gettin into one of those moods..i came home..my mom yelled at me for my shirt and said it showed too much cleavage. and uh then i did something else wrong to piss her off *imagine that!* and so she started screamin at me..and i screamed back and said that i was leavin..then got yelled at by both the parentals. and got sent upstairs..i called my boyfriend for comfort but couldnt even talk to him in peace..cos my dad came up and was screamin at me again..so i was jus like LEAVE ME ALONE! and he said something but i wasnt listenin. Then i got on here and saw that people were still startin shit with Adam on his livejournal..so i decided to step in and say my words..because i believe its so retarded what they are doin to him, he doesnt need that childish stuff..he can make his own decisions and he obviously has..why cant people understand that?? but,yea anways..Then my mom apologized..but while i was upset i wrote my boyfriend this 3 page long thing..and i asked her if i could jus go drop it off to him and come back home..and she let me stay out and hang with him..which was great. It was the first night we've been alone in awhile..and it was so great to jus finally lay there with him in peace and just talk. He made me feel a lot better. Then i came home..grubbed. Uhm I have a migrane from hell..so im jus kinda like blaaah lol im debatin on if im going to bed or not.. lol i think i jus might cos no one is really online and im jus kinda in one of those moods. so yeah..i think i might hit the uhm..ill jus say bed haha Goodnight! |
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| *::WOW::* |
[Feb. 10th, 2004|08:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i dont know! any good music! | ] |
oh jesus. Man i fuckin got my hair dyed yesterday. lol i love it. it looks black. but its not haha its jus a very dark brown :) im getting highlights in it maybe.. im not sure. but that would take place in about a week..after my hair has faded a lil bit. ya know how that is. haha but yeah.. Brian kept tellin me how sexy i was!! lol i was like woohoo brownie points for yooou! lol so yeah he was def. in the goods with me! *big grin* but i love him sooo much!! but yeah. Yesterday i hung out with brian,brittany,andrew,missi,dustin,stoner,stoner's brother and larry. lol i think thats all. lol im not sure tho cos yea lol well i will update l8r..school time. lol sorta. byyee |
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| *::...::* |
[Feb. 8th, 2004|10:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cranky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | MSI-Bitches | ] |
well.. i dont know what to say..yet another day of disappointment maybe? Everything seems to be going to hell and everyone seems to be letting me down. I just cant pick myself up and keep myself up. someone always brings me down. and now im pissed cos i cant figure out my damn password on my AIM sn cos its always saved on mine and now im using my dads comp..and grrr lol this just hasnt been my weekend..and last week wasnt my week. hopefully this one will be better..but i dunno..tomorrow should be weird to be around brittany since she fucked me over n all..and having to be with her after school at her sisters...oh how much do you wanna bet MISSI will be right there along the whole fuckin way..cos why..missi n brittany never leave eachothers ass. its sad i know. but oh well. i guess you could only love them anyways. but right now i dont have to like them. cos their bein rude inconsiderate bitches. but its okay also because brian said hes going to have some words with her and plans to bitch at her. so im not even worried about it. :) haha he does a good job bitchin at people...i know from experience. lol he knows how to crack someone. but yeah i dunno. i started taking my birth control again today. since i went to the dr and all..and he said the sunday after my period or if i start my period any day and if im still on it..and a sunday comes..then take it then. so thats what i did.. lol im a lil worried about the time i picked haha cos i picked 8 cos i almost forgot about it tonight..and i was like oh shit! lol and it was 8 o'clock. oh well hopefully it all works out and we can get this stupid problem to go away! other than that..all i gotta say is this week better be a good week and people better be nice..cos im emotional and i have cramps lol. but thats all i can say right now! byyyye! |
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| *::God Dammit::* |
[Feb. 7th, 2004|11:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  and pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Deftones-Minerva | ] |
DAMMIT I JYNX'D MYSELF! fuckin my night went to hell..i was soo happy all day waitin to see amanda and meet her friend jason and chill and stuff with ed and everything..but then ed had to be an ass and not call me. how fucked up is that. and got amanda into trouble with jason and makes me look like the asshole here. i hope amanda isnt mad at me because i love her..and shes one of the only people there for me anymore..and i havent even met her and shes like my best friend now since my supposed one treats me like shit.i know she would never do the shit brit does to me. Reguardless if brit realizes it or not. I talked to her..and thought i set her straight on how she was making me feel and thought she wasnt going to hurt me like that anymore. but i guess i thought wrong but im steering off subject now..but the point is i love amanda sooooooo much! and shes cooler than me. haha. i dunno though..it was jus not a cool night. i dunno man.. im jus so depressed right now that i just need to be alone..but one thing i have to say is fuck making plans..they never follow through and people always let you down. thats why i wish i could drive..cos if i made plans i know it would follow through. but fuck no..that couldnt possibly happen. but im jus not in a good mood so its prollie best i leave. |
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